{"id":5290,"date":"2022-05-12T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-05-12T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hdbka.com\/master-chief-had-sex\/"},"modified":"2022-05-12T00:00:00","modified_gmt":"2022-05-12T00:00:00","slug":"master-chief-had-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hdbka.com\/master-chief-had-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Master Chief had sex"},"content":{"rendered":"
After 12 videogames, 35 books, 21 years and eight episodes of television, Master Chief did it: he had sex. <\/p>\n
Finally, right? Like all Halo fans, from the first moment I stepped into Master Chief’s armor on the Pillar of Autumn I’ve been thinking: This guy needs to get some. Yeah, I was busy shooting aliens and driving around in a cool jeep, but it was always hard to fully enjoy the experience when such an obvious, crucial piece was missing. In the back of my head the question constantly reverberated: When was Master Chief going to have some sex? What was the purpose of this videogame if it didn’t culminate in the husky-voiced savior of humanity stripping off all of his armor except the helmet and giving himself, body and soul, to pure carnal lust? <\/p>\n
And yet it never happened. Not in the sequel, or the one after that, or even one with a jazz soundtrack that was clearly written for rainy, romantic evenings. No wonder the Halo series has always been wildly unpopular—they somehow kept forgetting to put the sex in it. I kept buying them like some kind of sucker, certain the next one would be the one with the sex in it, but it never happened.<\/p>\n
After two decades, the Halo TV series on Paramount+ has set things right. First, it gave us Master Chief without his helmet—boldly jettisoning the defining characteristic of his videogame counterpart, a man who had his humanity stolen from him and was more machine than the AI that hung out in his head. Ha ha! Begone, subtext!<\/p>\n
Next it showed us his ass, but not in a sexy way. Understandable: When you’ve gone without sex for 20 years, you’ve gotta work up to it.<\/p>\n